Some singles looking to pair up are taking drastic measures to boost their romantic odds and their self-esteem: moving to another state.
According to a story titled â€œI Left New York City So I Could Feel Hotter,â€ published by the New York Post, young single women (and some men) are fleeing Manhattanâ€™s impossible physical standards to seek refuge in other U.S. states and abroad where the beauty barometer is set lower. â€œAs a woman, youâ€™re never enough,â€ Zoe Barry, a CEO and former New Yorker who moved to Colorado, told the Post. â€œI was never tall enough or slim enough. It grates on you after a while â€” that pressure to be a walking mannequin.â€
After relocating, â€œall of a sudden I was the belle of the ball,â€ saidÂ Barry. â€œIn Colorado, it was like, â€˜Look at her!â€™ In New York, I couldnâ€™t find a nice guy anywhere.â€
Likewise, publicist Sherry Smith settled in Paris and immediately experienced a change in how people viewed her. â€œIn New York, I felt average, like a 6,â€ she told the Post. â€œIn Paris, I felt like an 8 or a 9. I was regarded very differently and got more attention, even though it was the same me.â€
Sure, itâ€™s not exactly realistic for everyone to move, leaving behind loved ones, jobs, and other forces that keep one bound to a particular location, but thereâ€™s evidence to support prioritizing romance. Studies have pointed to love, not work, as the most important factor in a personâ€™s happiness, even when income is doubled. Other research shows that married people are healthier and, in some cases, happier than singles.
However, according to Gail Saltz, MD, a psychiatrist and the author ofÂ The Power of Different, moving solely to sample from a new dating pool carries some risk.
â€œIf a person has difficulty finding a partner, they will likely have that same problem no matter the city,â€ Saltz tells Yahoo Style. â€œIn most cases, itâ€™s better to examine other factors, such as a fear of intimacy, an inability to compromise, or unrealistic expectations, that might be holding them back.â€
Moving can also be impractical: If your new town doesnâ€™t fulfill its potential, do you pack up again?
And while Saltz maintains that committed couples often relocate in the interest of theirrelationship, single people grapple with a unique cost-benefit analysis: If you live in the capital of your career, will you be compromising your future for a person you havenâ€™t yet met?
Ultimately, the idea of a soulmate waiting for you in a far-flung city sounds dreamy, but staying put may be more fruitful. â€œPeople have the potential to find love with more than one person if theyâ€™re willing to examine how theyâ€™re undermining their own romantic success,â€ says Saltz. â€œThe idea of nobody being attracted to you in a city of millions is absurd.â€